The adrenaline rush of love I get every time I tell you I love you will never, EVER get old.
The adrenaline rush of love I get every time I tell you I love you will never, EVER get old.
I am a friend of convenience. I’m the person you do not contact for friendly outings but the first you call on for favors. I am the person you talk to when you find yourself alone because your usual company is absent. I am the person you sit next to in a class of unfamiliar faces but the person you walk past in the halls. I am the person you ask for advice and reassurance but the recipient of unanswered messages and calls. My struggles give you comfort while my accomplishments are the cause for scorn. And when you tire of my friendship- I fade into the background until you need to use me once more.
It’s okay to miss people that weren’t good for you. It’s okay that even when you know they can’t be in your life in order to save yourself and after all the bad, to miss them. It’s okay to wish they were different, wish things were different. And it’s okay to remember why they are gone and why you shouldn’t call them.
—missing toxic people
After all the heartache this world has thrown at me, i can’t help but still see the beauty in it. The first rainfall of spring. A pretty sunrise on a chilly morning while I’m rocking my daughter back to sleep. Strangers kissing in the park, so in love. the wag of my dog’s tail when I come home. A flower growing through the cracks in the sidewalk.
Maybe there is too much hurt here for me to want to crawl out of bed some days and maybe I still cry over stupid things like old pictures and empty parking lots but there is still so much beauty here, too.
And thank the universe, Gods, whatever, that I am still here to get to experience them. Even with the sad days. Even with the hurt. I am here. I am still here.
